X-Men, dead men!
by iC3 HybRiD tHEorY
Summary: just a silly, plotless fic filled with crazy imaginations of the bored mind.


  
  
  
  
Disclaimer: blah, blah, blah. Of course I don't own anythin'. You don't know me.  
Dear readers...this is solely for leisure reading only...no offence intended...don't mind the silliness! =)  
The afternoon sky shone bright and azure, birds chirped in the tall willowy trees nearby.. and a gal with two pigtails hanging down her side was strolling through the park.......she is the princess's mother's sister's cousin's aunt's granddaughter's husband's second wife's brother's sister's friend! And her name is Jill.   
Suddenly the sky darkened and a storm threatened to drench her. "Whoa! This is like a plot outta a horror movie!! How did those clouds darken so quickly?!?" Jill muttered questioningly.   
Just then, Storm appeared, her white hair... GONE!!!   
"OH NO!! Storm my dearest friend.. what's happened to your hair???" Jill exclaimed, stricken by the sight.   
Storm descended onto the ground next to her and heaved a deep sigh, "Well...its 'cause I accidentally burnt a whole chunk of my hair while trying to cook dinner and it looked so horrendous that Wolverine had to claw to rest of them off!!" she sobbed pitifully.   
"Hehez...never mind..here, take this magical potion, brewed in cat's claw under a blue moon for 39 days with a whiff of different smelling fart everyday exactly at midnight!" Jill cheered n thrust a bottle of potion towards Storm who took it eagerly n sniffed it. It smelt of apple pie and strawberry whip cream.   
"Hey! Nice smell!!" she exclaimed.   
"Thanks Storm, they are caused by my farts! Quick..drink it!" Jill encouraged happily.   
Storm, a little nervously, swallowed it all in one gulp. Blinding green light emitted from her body immediately. When it had subsided, Jill looked at what used to be Storm and gasped!   
For Storm was now....TOAD! Jill screamed in fright and ran away, screaming, "BLOODY MURDER!!!!!!!!"  
She soon vanished from sight and left acidic smelling smoke   
behind. Toad looked bewildered and gave a croak; just then, Jean Grey appeared next to him, grabbed hold of him and both of them vanished from the scene of crime.   
They reappeared shortly in a laboratory and Jean Grey strapped him down firmly on the surgery table. She bent down to poke a needle into his slimy green skin and punctured more holes with a sadistic "Muahahaha".   
He screamed in terror and opened his eyes wide with shock when she suddenly swooped down and gave him a wet sloppy kiss. Toad was just beginning to enjoy his SM game when Jean Grey bit him hard on his tongue.   
"ARGGGGGGGH!!" Toad screamed in agony as Jean Grey lifted her head to reveal two glistering fangs, now dripping with blood.   
"VAMPIRE!!" Toad yelled in fright and started crying sissily.   
Jean Grey then disappeared abruptly and Toad shut his eyes tightly as pure white light filled the room in all directions. Cautiously peeking, he realized that he was all alone now. As he wiped away nervous sweat from his brows, a loud voice boomed from all corners of the room,   
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!"   
Then all the X-men appeared and cheered. Wolverine then approached Toad and gave him a bear hug! Toad gasped in surprise for Wolverine was wearing a bikini! Toad started salivating and kissed him passionately. But Cyclops rushed forward and blasted Toad and Wolverine apart, shouting bitterly, "Wolverine! How could u be so unfaithful to me? And don't you know? Toad is your real brother! This is incest!!"   
Wolverine turned to glare at him, growling ferociously. *SNIKT*   
"Well if you were better looking and if you had more guts, maybe I'll go back to you ,bub."   
"Okie..I can prove my everlasting love for you," Cyclops pleaded desperately.   
"Sure. Try it," came the bored reply. Cyclops then punched himself on the face 12 times over and when his face was all puffy, Wolverine's jaws dropped and he said,  
"Man,bub! You look so damn hunky! Bub. I love you!! Bub."   
"Ah..shut up with you and your bubs!! Go find Bubbles Powerpuff since you love her name so much!! I'm leaving you for...Pikachu!" with that, Cyclops zoomed outta the room.   
A heartbroken Wolverine sank down on his knees and burst into tears. Then he ran outta the room out to the mountains and gave a bloodcurdling howl at the sun. Suddeny a loud and chirpy voice rang in his head, "Hi!! I'm Sunny the sun!" Wolverine looked around and asked, "Who the hell?"   
"I'm Sunny the sun!" the sun repeated cheerfully and then took on a sterner voice and said  
"and please shut up! Your howling is awful!!" so, a wolverine with a bruised ego went for a voice transplant. After that, he could sing soprano!!   
Meanwhile, Cyclops and Pikachu were having a serious discussion on how to start their relationship. Pikachu finally got so mad coz Cyclops kept trying to touch his sexy tail that he lightning-shocked Cyclops and left him with a burnt smell.   
So, Cyclops decided to ignore Pikachu and made his way slowly but painfully back to the mansion. While he was walking, he tripped over a stone and fell into a deep hole. He found himself staring into a pair of greenish-black eyes.   
"Eeeee!!!" screamed Cyclops delighted for it wasn't a pair of eyes, but   
a sumptuous feast of juicy kiwis!!! He began to chomp down greedily and all of a sudden, he fell onto the ground and lay dead!! His spirit hovered above his body and he realized that he is now not a X-man but a dead-man!!!   
Back at the mansion, Iceman, Rogue, Nightcrawler, Kitty and Jubilee were watching X-men evolution on tv.   
"Hey! That's me!! Only I look nicer on tv than in real life." exclaimed   
Nightcrawler sadly.   
Wolverine in a bad and drunken mood then appeared and said, "Shut   
the bub up! Bub."   
He then fell asleep on Jubilee who shrieked in horror and gave Wolverine a flying kick. He flew outta the door and landed into a hole on top of Cyclops and also died!!!   
Gasp! Now there are 2 dead-men!!   
Back in the mansion, Jubilee went to her room and started to plot to take over the world. Her plan was to...scream as loud as she could to deafen everyone. When she started to scream, someone threw a marble down her throat and turned her into a stone statue forever. Until today, her expression is still in a state of shock, displayed in the X-men's garden in remembrance of her irritating personality.   
Back in the present, Rogue, Kitty, Nightcrawler and Iceman were playing   
truth or dare and it was Kitty's turn. Nightcrawler dared Kitty to fight with   
The Rock from the great WWF(World Wrestling Federation)!!! Oooh..this was a tough challenge and Kitty yelped nervously as The Rock approached her. But, as the match proceeded, Kitty's confidence grew as she just had to stand there and let The Rock pass through her intangible form.   
"Teeheehee.." she giggled as The Rock grew more and more frustrated. Finally The Rock threw up his hands in despair and sat down on the floor and threw a tantrum.   
"Me want mama! Me want toys!!" he wailed, kicking his legs and crying loudly. Kitty felt sorry for him and rushed to his side singing,   
"Twinkle, twinkle, little stars..." and The Rock fell into a deep slumber for 1000 years until a princess would one day come along and give him a kiss of life.   
Suddenly the earth shook and everyone fell over. Rogue screamed in   
panic,   
"OH NO!!! ITS SPIDERMAN!!! He is attacking the earth!! And now there are only 4 x-men left, how are we going to save the earth???"   
Kitty, who was the tender-hearted one, sobbed quietly and said, "Yeah..I miss wolverine's bubs."   
Just then, Spiderman appeared at the doorway and cackled insanely. He created a large and sticky web around the X-men, trapping them. He then crawled towards them menacingly and was about to gobble Iceman up when Wolverine's son, Wolf, crawled into the room and pointed his finger at Spiderman,   
"Bub!Bub bub babababub!Bub!Bub!Bub!" he babbled in his baby language.   
Spiderman cocked his head to one side and growled suspiciously, "What bub?"   
"Bub bub!" came the innocent reply and magic shot from his forefinger, blasting Spiderman to Jupiter where he stayed.   
Everyone had a victory celebration and toasted to Wolf who had save their lives, and Wolf's mother, Sabrina the teenage witch, began to teach Wolf how to handle magic with care and not to misuse it.   
When Wolf grew up, he became a well-mannered gentle who never used any vulgarities no matter what the situation was.   
The reason? "Bub bub bub bub babababub!!!" Wolf answered, smiling cheekily....   
  
The end!!! =)   
  



End file.
